Blagerbaas is the sole and illegitimate child of dyslexic methodist minister Garreth Bunker, who gained notoriety in England during the early seventies for his controversial theory that rock music was a symptom of god’s growing displeasure with the quality of contemporary pornography. It was this theory that ultimately caused Garreth to emigrate to Canada in the face of mounting persecution by the anglican church.

As a teenager, Blagerbaas displayed a lively interest in physics and calculus, but mysteriously abandoned his studies to apprentice as a shoemaker under the tutelage of Alberta’s premier cobbler, Herman Moop.

Blagerbaas has since opened his own chain of poorly equipped, and frankly quite dangerous shoe shops, and continues to happily nail broken soles across western Canada.